This past Sunday, we gathered to remember and celebrate my mother, Michele. The memorial service was more than two years delayed thanks to the pandemic — little did I imagine it would take so long, or that I would be holding my six-month-old baby by the time we were able to gather. It was beautiful and terrible. In some ways, the grief is worse than ever now, with the initial numbness worn off and contemplating the rest of my life without her. I did have time to think about what I wanted to say, and I decided to print it here in remembrance.
When I was a kid, maybe 11 or 12, my mother spotted a bumper sticker in a beach town trinket shop while we were on vacation. It was a quote by Albert Einstein, “Imagination is more important than knowledge,” accompanied by the famous image of Einstein with his wild hair and his tongue sticking out. Mom had to have it, and that bumper sticker lived proudly on the back of our white Chevy Express van for many years.
I’ve been thinking about that bumper sticker again lately because it distills my mother’s life philosophy: Imagination is more important than knowledge. It spoke to her sense of curiosity, her creativity, and her punk-rock, do-it-yourself approach to just about everything: fashion, art, food, and even parenting.
Although most of the time you’d find her practical clothes around the farm, my mom loved all things kitchy, funky, bright and bedazzled. When I was a teen, we fought bitterly over my wardrobe not because she thought I was being too risque, but because she couldn’t understand my strict preference for muted, boyish clothes (I had a long tomboy phase).
If you knew my mom, you know she loved Elvis Presley. Her handcrafted Elvis-themed Christmas tree lived on in family memory for decades, and I’m sure she never quite forgave us kids for pressuring her into having a ‘normal’ Christmas tree. But you might not know that she also loved underground reggae and punk rock – her second favorite male singer was probably Iggy Pop.
Perhaps it’s no surprise that my mom rejected traditional education as well. Dissatisfied with the institutional rigidity of school, my mom decided to homeschool when I started second grade. She homeschooled myself and my two younger brothers all the way through high school graduation. While she was required by the state to give us a standardized test every year, when she got our scores back in the mail, she refused to share them with us. She believed that a true education was about more than regurgitating answers on a test – it was about fostering our curiosity. She taught us how to teach ourselves what we wanted and needed to know.
And she modeled that for us too. Mom believed you could learn anything, and solve just about any problem, at the library. As a family, we visited our library branch weekly, often checking out 20 to 30 books at once between the four of us. In fact, we were such regulars that when one of our favorite librarians discovered two abandoned kittens, she approached us about taking them home. You can probably guess what happened. My mom had a weakness for bringing home animals of all kinds.
Looking back now, particularly as I embark on the journey of motherhood myself, I appreciate anew all the ways my mom poured her time, energy and care into her family. But one of her greatest gifts to us was showing us what it looks like to be an adult who nurtures her own passions. For some, it might be hard to see the connection between my mother’s various creative pursuits. We watched the constant evolution of her creative practice from fiber arts to goat milk soap and eventually cheese, and from that vantage point, it all made perfect sense.
I see the same spirit in myself and my siblings today. My brother Evan composes heady, philosophical rap music and edits photos in his spare time. My youngest brother Aaron is the most ambitious home cook I’ve ever met, always looking to learn new techniques like sourdough bread, soup dumplings, or handmade pasta. During the pandemic, I’ve been relearning how to sew garments and although my skills pale in comparison to my mom’s, I feel closer to her every time I sit in front of the sewing machine.
While writing this reflection, I did some digging to find out if Einstein really did utter these words on the bumper sticker. Sometimes great, pithy quotes are a little too good to be true – but not this one. When I tracked down the original source, I found Einstein’s full quote, which reads: “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world.”
Michele embraced all of us, and the world, through her imagination and creativity. And I can’t think of any better way to keep her memory alive then for us to do the same.
Beautiful…